I’m so happy to be done my stage, Kyle and I went out to celebrate. On my last day I thought the guys were going to do something to me. There is a shallow square sunken fountain at the front of De Kas and I had heard stories of stages getting thrown in on there last day. I was nervous all night. I kept saying, “well, it’s been great guys and I’m really going to miss you, but I should go.” They insisted I stay, so I thought forsure I’m going in the fountain. In the end they just wanted to have a drink in the kitchen with me, the chef gave me some champagne and the guys gave me a De Kas cookbook that they all signed.

My first day of the stage the chef told me I could go when everyone started cleaning. He said that I wouldn’t learn anything from cleaning. I told him that I would like to stay and help clean because I had cooked that day and there for it was my mess too. I said that I can always learn something from cleaning a new kitchen. Plus it’s a team building exercise. So I always stayed and cleaned at the end. Kyle said I’m an idiot.

I took a pic of how empty the walk in always is, because I love that. All of the fresh farm products comes in every morning in those blue and black plastic crates, so no breaking down cardboard. I love the idea of getting your beautiful product from the farm, processing it all then being ready for service. I could do that day in and day out as a job. Standing in a greenhouse/kitchen working with amazing product, daydreaming about menus. Somedays I feel like I’m so close to doing what I want to do, and some days I feel so far away from my goals.

They also have colored cutting boards that they soak in disinfectant and then steam in the combi oven once a week. A very sanitary practice.

I cleaned duck breasts when I was there, they get them from France in plastic packages. They showed me how they wanted it done and they put it skin side down and cut off a couple of centimeters of meat and skin on all sides so the breast is square with a perfect square patch of skin. I had such a hard time bringing myself to cut off the meat with the skin. They freeze the meat and skin until they have enough and then they render the fat and pick out the meat for staff meal. I wonder if that is a Michelin star duck technique. I should ask. I saw in the Alinea cook book that a squab breast had been cut in the same square shape. Or maybe it’s my imagination.

I didn’t get a very good description of the cheeses. They have really nice organic lemons or biological as they say. The food is so simple, almost everything is seasoned or finished with lemon zest.

At my stage I they ask me what I want to do everyday. I’ve worked with everyone once and it is good, but no one is ever in the shit. We would do jobs together or once in a while they would give me jobs to do by myself. I would gratefully pound it out and ask for another job, but they didn’t really know what to do with me.

The menu is to simple and the guys can mechanically pump it out. They have so much time. They start at 10, they set up. They do prep, they have morning lunch for the staff. One guy puts out warm bread, charcuterie, cheese, peanut butter, chocolate sprinkles, herring, jam, mustard, tomato, lettuce and juice, milk, and ice water. Every staff member, wanders over and makes them self a sandwich and has a juice. They have the best apple juice there. Then they do lunch, it hasn’t been very busy at lunch. A couple of days there have been 70 or 90 in the book for lunch. Then they scrub down and have a break with drinks served in the garden. Then they prep, then they have staff meal, then set up for service. They pre-plate the base of the 1st coarse, then put it on a rack and roll, the main course side pre-cooks some meat and fish, which I don’t think is good. No stress during service, no stress ever. I need a little rush. It’s a bit like a hotel. I’d rather start later and push harder, or if I’m going to be there all day make it harder by cooking everything to order. I think the first coarse thing makes sense, but not the fish. They said that it isn’t a busy time for them, but when it is busy it is necessary. Everything is very consistent.

It also made me think that if I ever have a stage in my kitchen for a few days or longer, their first day I will give them a job that needs to be done everyday. Something simple like herbs for the day, that they can come in set up a spot for themselves and know what there first job is, while everyone else gets organized. Sometimes I come in the morning and feel lost for about 30 min, because everyone is busy setting up. They just tell me to wait. It’s the longest, most uncomfortable 30 minuites of the day. As a stage being busy, and feeling like you know what you have to do is so important. They don’t want me to do anything without them, but they want me to feel free to do what ever I want. I’m still trying to figure it out.

All of the dutch food Kyle and I have eating has been very light. They use barely any salt or oil, at De Kas they usually only use butter in the winter. Everything is really rustic too, like the cherry clafoutis cherries still have the stones in them.

Everyone is really nice here, it’s a bit of a different way of life. They have a sweet linen service at De Kas, nice whites, pants and aprons. It’s all so forgien to you when they show you around on your first day. Get changed here, this is this, this is that. It’s so bright, and the servers serve the cooks all day. You never get thirsty because servers are breezing by giving you glasses of ice water, during the afternoon break they bring us out drinks while we sit in the garden. They always want to know if you want coffee or tea. The chef is really zen and holistic and he makes supper healthy and delicious staff meals, you walk out to the back garden and a long table is set with waters poured for everyone and staff meal on platters family style down the table. When we finish eating the servers get up and clear the plates and then serve tea and espresso. The tea is in these clear pots and is just either mint or verbena cut from the garden glowing green. The cooks all smoke and there is a nice break before service. For a snack the chef will cut up fresh vegitables from the greenhouse, he said that one of the things he brought to De Kas is to make it more social. It’s a beautiful life for them.

Travis and Heather's shower curtain

 I had tried to hang on for a few more weeks working at the restaurant but finally I decided to give my notice, after many months of deliberation. So I was finishing out my two weeks working pastry on the day that another restaurant (some friends of ours) were in for their staff party. I had to put out 50 of the same dessert, very simple, no rush. Somehow, SOME-HOW! I started plating them with the wrong icecream and by the time the chef and I had noticed half of them were already at the tables. He just looked at me like he was completely disgusted, “what the fuck are you doing?” he said.

“I don’t know! I don’t know what I’m doing! I don’t know what to do, should I just keep sending them out with vanilla or should I switch now, half way through to creme fraiche!!!?” I cried.

He just walked away and left me there holding the icecream scoop, I just crumbled and actually started to cry. The dessert, the end to a 6 coarse meal for the party of 50 restaurant staff upstairs still needed to go out so I kept plating and crying. I decided that since the last 20 were a separate table that I would take that opportunity to switch to creme fraiche. Meanwhile, the group upstairs was pretty drunk and a few of the cooks from the party had stumbled down to the kitchen to chat before dessert, including a very talented but notoriously “tough”(to put it nicely) girl cook along with the chef of the visiting restaurant (one of my mentors). The girl decided that this would be the perfect time for a drunken lecture about how stupid I was for quitting and how I can learn so much from this place. “I can’t believe you leave, you can learn so much from this guys! Look at you, you cry, and for what? dey see you, dey don’t respect dat. You are…I cannot think of the word in english…EH! QUEL EST LE MOT POUR FAIBLE DANS L’ANGLAIS ?” she yells across the kitchen to the visiting chef.

 He looks up from his current conversation and in front of everyone he yells back his response “WEAK! DA WORD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IT IS WEAK!”

“Yes you are weak!” she tells me. “Stop crying!”

By that time still weeping I finished putting up desserts, I thanked her for the talk and trying to help. I know she was just meaning to give me some advice. I went outside and completely broke down it was building up inside these last two weeks. So much for going out on a good note, I remembered this one food runners last shift and the chef said to him, “don’t fuck up tonight because then that is all we will remember you by, you will be the guy who fucked up.” Everyone laughed when he said that because I think it was a joke, but that flashed through my head the moment I fucked up. I called Bryan and Kyle and and told them what happened they felt bad for me but also laughed their asses off. Kyle told me to shake it off and go have a drink.

Like Anthony Bourdain says, cooks are pirates. More on this later. P.S. this is Kyle we’ve cooked together in many kitchens, he’s my wing man. He’s moving to europe soon and I am sad.

Oh fuck, where to begin…. I burnt my mouth syphining hot veal stock, I let a stock boil down over night so that when I got in the next morning to strain it it was a burnt crust at the bottem of the pot, the chef made me clean the pot and said that I wasted $50 in pork bones.  I burnt two hotel pans of duck confit, I can’t portion my fish properly and I have burns all up and down my arms, I fucked up a five times batch of sausage that my chef was going to use at the golden plates cooking competition, and then… the whole pig arrived.

I tried to butcher it myself but I couldn’t remember so many parts of what I was supposed to do. I just kept staring at it trying to figure it out. The chef and the meat guy were busy so I broke it down as much as I could, but then I had to go in of my day off to watch the guy who used to be on meat do the rest. I’m kind of stressed out.

I think that because I’ve been cooking 2 years and everyone else in my kitchen has been cooking for 8 yrs or more that it is killing my confidence because I’m never good compare to them. It is also good to train with people who are better than you but I don’t want to be shit all the time like they say. I am shit right now, I have no idea what I’m doing.